Three Years

Three years ago today, I lost my best friend--my mom. Oh, how I miss her. Its been three years since I've talked to her. Three years of changes that she's missed. Three years of lost advice, lost direction. Three years without talks about nothing.

Its so hard having gotten married and now starting a family without her. Its hard to look at a daughter and mother pushing the grandkids on the swings, or hear parenting advice that a mother has passed down.

She has no idea is been three years! She's not really missing anything. But I am. She's in heaven walking the streets of gold, dancing and singing with the angels. And tho she's not here, she's always with me. At the strangest times, I can smell her perfume, but only briefly. Or sometimes I'll be doing something and think, oh, mom used to do it just like that. These moments are a gift from God. A reminder that she's always with me.

I miss her everyday. The moment I lost her my life was changed forever. I lost a part of myself that I haven't been able to get back.

I'll be with her again soon. Our lives pass by in the blink of an eye. While I don't wish mine away, I dream of the day that I will hold her in my arms again and tell her how very much I love her. And in that moment, I will be dancing and singing with the angels too.